Today is my birthday, and I have the most precious gift given to me directly from my Father. It has been a little over a year since I received my referral for Belen. June 24 of last year was the first time I saw my daughter's face through three of the most prized photos. I remember sleeping with those pictures for the longest time (I made many copies). This time last year, I was elated and attempting to prepare for motherhood. There was no way of knowing that I would be thrown into the role of "mother" before I ever held my baby. I remember vividly my conversations I had with my family on my birthday. All of them focused on becoming a mom and preparing for my long awaited trip. Two days after, I got a call from my agency letting me know Belen was very ill, and we needed to pray. Immediately, I was thrust into motherhood. I grieved for my child as any mother would; I cried out to God continuously for three days until I heard she was improving. My tears of agony became tears of joy and praise. So, today isn't about growing older...it is about life and a new beginning. Hopefully, I have gained a little wisdom this past year. It has been the most beautiful and most difficult time of my 39 years.
I want to take time, as I have so many times this year, to thank my Father for my precious gift.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
It has been about over four months since I have been home with Belen. It is amazing how life has changed. For the past several years, I had practically lived at and for my job. Now, I can't wait to leave work, so Belen and I can spend as much time together as possible. Belen is also changing. It seems that every day she is saying something new, progressing in what she will eat, moving a little farther along the couch as she tries to maintain her balance, or just making a goofy face to get my attention. Life is not perfect in our little house. In fact, I had my first major mommy meltdown last week as Belen and I sobbed together. Some days are harder than others, and I wasn't handling all of my responsibilities as a mom very well that day. Even though not all days are "Norman Rockwell" days, I have not ever experienced the joy that I have felt in the past four months.
Since I have not posted in a couple of months, I wanted to share some pictures from her birthday and the holidays.
makes when she wants sympathy. It is silly, but she knows I will
ask, "Oh, are you okay, Baby Girl?" every time she makes it.
Yes, I am a sucker.
That was her favorite part of the gifts...tearing the paper (and attempting to
eat it sometimes).